ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

(via lucifers-ass-cheek)


didoxidate:

raptorific:

Sometimes I walk past a graveyard and I think “I could dress up like a ghost and haunt the shit out of that cemetery for like, weeks before anybody noticed and stopped me”

And then I realized that I was headed down a road that leads to scooby doo villainy

image

(via unofficialtwitter)


valkyriestrikeofthelashatterdome:

gotterdammerungs:

                             (x)

And then in the future, everything changes. He’s been through it all, of course-watched humanity rediscover the heavens above them, watched them begin to wonder what’s out there. He cheered with the rest of the world when they landed on the moon, cheered as if he’d found Isla de la Muerta all over again, because there was something new. New treasure, a new horizon. But then they stop going, stop exploring, and he goes back to riding tankers across the rising seas. So he’s surprised when one day he wakes up from a night with his bottle of rum (his truest companion), and hears that there’s colonies on Mars now, and they need ships to supply them. He spends the next decade crafting new identities, learning all he can to qualify for the job, and after several tries (and even more faked deaths-this immortality thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in the age of the inerasable digital self) he gets it. The ships go nearly constantly now, the needs of the terraforming project creating an unbroken line of vessels from Mars to Earth and back again. “Show me that horizon,” he whispers to himself, his personal prayer of thanksgiving, each time they leave orbit, because the worlds, the stars are in motion and it’s never the same, with nearly three years for a round trip the ports are always different, even if they keep the old names. And finally one trip something goes wrong with the reactor, they’re too low on power and have to deploy the backups, and Jack (Lucky Jack, they call him, for he survives too many things he shouldn’t but science has yet to accept that maybe some things weren’t old wives’ tales after all) goes out for the spacewalk to bring up the solar panels. And as they rise, geometric patterns black against the sun’s glare, he’s struck by a powerful sense of déjà vu, because it’s all here-wind and sails, a ship beneath his feet and stars above his head, horizon in all directions. He wonders, for a moment, if the reason he’s still here is because the universe wanted a witness, to mourn the end of one age of exploration, and rejoice in the birth of the next.

(via liamdryden)




kayleigh-mariee:

Sexual assault is the least funny and most harmful thing you can joke about. Every 2 minutes another american is sexually assaulted. The truly terrifying part of this? 97% of rapists never spend even A DAY in jail. Rape and sexual assault jokes make rapists more confident and empowered, and survivors feel weaker, more insecure and less supported. Stop this behavior guys, stop making rape and sexual assault into a joke. Its only a joke until it happens to you.

(via lucifers-ass-cheek)


mercutio: i can see what's happening
benvolio: what?
mercutio: and they don't have a clue!
benvolio: stop
mercutio: they'll fall in love and here's the bottom line -- our trio's down to two
benvolio: people are dying

mishasminions:

amuseoffyre:

linzeestyle:

mishasminions:

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT STEVE TRIED TO TRIGGER BUCKY’S MEMORIES BY WEARING HIS LESS DURABLE RETRO!UNIFORM (aka the not-so-bulletproof outfit he wore the last time Bucky saw him) AND BY QUOTING SOMETHING BUCKY SAID TO HIM 70-SOMETHING YEARS AGO

Okay okay but can we just talk about this?  The entire movie Steve’s worth is defined by what Captain America has become.  He goes to the Smithsonian to see Captain America’s life projected back at him — the boy he was before a footnote, the sickly waif who wasn’t good enough until the army (literally) made him A Man — while he’s there he walks around unrecognized; the entire gag at the mall is based on the idea that this is a 6’2” hulking muscled mass of a guy who absolutely no one recognizes unless he has that star on his chest, because it’s the suit, not the person, who’s been given worth.  And when Steve thinks about the most memorable thing about himself — when he thinks about how to get Bucky back — he goes for that.  He goes for Captain America.  And it doesn’t work; Bucky doesn’t react at all.  Because Bucky always saw through that.  He didn’t give a shit about Captain America.  That “little guy from Brooklyn,” that’s the kid he loved, that’s the one he was following when he died, the one who’s scared voice knocked the memories out of him earlier in the movie.  And it’s only when Steve drops the shield, and the helmet — all of the things that make him Captain America, that make him immediately recognizable to the rest of the country, to the world — when he calls on this one, rogue memory from when they were just kids, from before he was the national ideal of manhood he’s been made out to be since his death…  That’s when Bucky sees him.  Because Bucky doesn’t remember, or care about Captain America: Captain America is just a target.  But Steve Rogers, that little kid from Brooklyn?  Is under him, and dying, and scared…and the impulse to protect is so much stronger than anything else that’s been done to Bucky since then.

Fun fact. The two times Bucky remembers Steve are when Steve is half-beaten-up and scared and calling his name, and when Steve is bleeding and almost dead beneath him. Bucky sees Steve when he looks the most like the Steve he was in childhood, the one Bucky protected and fought for long before that costume and that mask and that shield.

This is the kid who he pulled up from the playground after the bullies knocked him down. This is the kid who got into fights with people much bigger than him and knocked him flat. This is the kid needed him to watch his back. And that’s when he remembers.

LET’S ALL PUT OURSELVES IN CRYOGENIC STORAGE TO NUMB THE PAIN


ishipitlikeups:

brxkenpetal:

☁MASTURBATION TIPS☁

Tip #1: DO NOT MASTURBATE WHILE YOUR HANDS ARE ON FIRE I REPEAT:
DO
NOT
MASTURBATE
WITH
FIERY
HANDS.

ishipitlikeups:

brxkenpetal:

☁MASTURBATION TIPS☁

Tip #1: DO NOT MASTURBATE WHILE YOUR HANDS ARE ON FIRE I REPEAT:

DO

NOT

MASTURBATE

WITH

FIERY

HANDS.

(via secondary-aftermath)


fappuclno:

when you and ya bestfriend say something at the exact same time
image

(via lucifers-ass-cheek)